Was that really about going to space? Or was that just a commercial for a space cooking show? The woman in the kitchen is trying to show us the latest trend of cooking. Gone are the days of dishwashers, we now have a way to cook mess free! This new trend is a great way to encourage us men to start cooking. For us to be able to cook a nice tortilla without mince spewing and spraying out of the pan sounds good to me. Woman are clever species thinking of something like this now they will get their night off cooking like they have always dreamed of. This is also a great way for us men to stay out of the dog box.
James
James I really like from your peice of writing is the way you have thought about your audience and how you can inform them, by the choice of language you used, "women are clever speices...". Next time you could try to extend you ideas by adding another character into the story, by having another perspective. I love the question at the beginnning what a good way to hook us in.
ReplyDeleteI really love the idea of space video. I was instantly hooked in as an audience and wanted to know what happens next. I never thought that trend of cooking mess free might be what men really need to start cooking. Have you considered to use it in drama?
ReplyDeleteJames I really like from your peice of writing is the way you have thought about your audience and how you can inform them, by the choice of language you used, "women are clever speices...". Next time you could try to extend you ideas by adding another character into the story, by having another perspective. I love the question at the beginnning what a good way to hook us in.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the way you began your writing with two rhetorical questions. They really helped to set the tone for the rest of the piece.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought of this video in this way when I watched it, you really provided another way for me to think about how children might respond to it.
You might consider mixing up the way you talk to the reader, such as rather than 'this is a great way for us men to stay out of the dog box' you could have changed the tense - 'Any man who steps up to the stove will be sure to win points with the missus and keep out of the dog box.'
I enjoyed the way you began your writing with two rhetorical questions. They really helped to set the tone for the rest of the piece.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought of this video in this way when I watched it, you really provided another way for me to think about how children might respond to it.
You might consider mixing up the way you talk to the reader, such as rather than 'this is a great way for us men to stay out of the dog box' you could have changed the tense - 'Any man who steps up to the stove will be sure to win points with the missus and keep out of the dog box.'
I really love the idea of space video. I was instantly hooked in as an audience and wanted to know what happens next. I never thought that trend of cooking mess free might be what men really need to start cooking. Have you considered to use it in drama?
ReplyDelete